The Director Who Films Your Life Test

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test…

Roger Corman

Your film will be 52% romantic, 29% comedy, 55% complex plot, and a $ 35 million budget.

An action-complex tale about a complex character that is you. Corman was responsible for a very early Jack Nicholson film, 1963’s The Terror (Francis Coppola was associate producer), filmed in three days! The actor who plays you will emote complexity like Jack…
All his films were shot for mere thousands of dollars, sometimes completed within the week. Roger knows talent, and knows how to keep costs down with complex stories such as your life story.
Oh, yeah, man, this guy will make your film a cult classic!

No disrespect to Roger, a true legend and an inspiration to many, but no…and I hardly know where to begin with the reasons why. Yes, I am a cult classic in the making. And yes, I’ve got colorful, rough and tumble characters right and left. But baby, I’m top dollar. I’m not dismissing the quality of the man’s oeuvre for its sheer quantity, but no matter how high his titles stack up they uniformly lack class.

Some of the more apt possibilities included: Steven Soderbergh, Francis Ford Coppola, Sophia Coppola, James L. Brooks, and Mike Nichols. If I had my druthers though that list might include Noah Baumbach or Julie Taymor. I have no interest in The Lion King and I didn’t really appreciate the “cross-media” concept of Across the Universe, but Frida and Titus blew me away…and with my family, well, a background in Shakespeare and opera would serve her well as training in extreme human behavior.


Of course my ultimate, yet impossible, pick will always be Krzysztof Kieslowski. Everyone has a story. Some people have the facility to tell one. kieslowski1Others have a gift for showing more than one experience in a single piece of art. Every couple of years I’ll go back to The Decalogue or any one of  the Three Colors series, though White is certainly the most powerful to me, and the films convey a renewed relevance as a I age and my perspective evolves. Kieslowski would have looked at the details of my life, observed the sort of person I’ve come to be, and conjured a peerless visual translation of my journey, one that would surely include insights into the lives of the other players I might never see myself. The man possessed a piercing eye, married to a heart overflowing with empathy.

Of course, if you twisted my arm I might settle for Truffaut.

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Hillery eventually learned not to say everything that came to mind. Some were too good not to write down.

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